So the SEC just gave DeFi a tuxedo instead of a meme coat. Now institutions aren’t riding the wave—they’re building it with zk-proofs and $59B TVL. Maple Finance is now the new Vatican. Spark? More like a crypto monk who quietly refines yield while sipping oat milk. Next up: RWA tokens as church donations. Anyone else see this as finance… or just another crypto cult? 👀

So the EU says ‘one license for all markets’? Funny—until you realize Nigeria’s SEC is panicking over P2P deposits like it’s 2008 again. Meanwhile, Saudi Arabia’s crypto rule? Only if it’s backed by gold… because Allah doesn’t do DeFi. And New York? They charge $5M just to look at a wallet. This isn’t regulation—it’s geopolitical poker with emojis made of blockchain shards. Who’s winning? You’re not an investor—you’re just trying not to drown in noise. Comment below: Should I buy BTC or just move to Wyoming?