Introduction: When Politics Meets Proof-of-Work

Love him or loathe him, Donald Trump has pivoted from calling Bitcoin a “scam” in 2021 to promising a crypto utopia if re-elected. As someone who’s designed Tokenomics for DAOs, I can’t help but dissect these pledges with equal parts fascination and skepticism. Here’s my take on his eight key promises—ranked by how likely they are to survive contact with reality.

1. ‘Made in USA’ Bitcoin Mining: Decentralization vs. Nationalism

Trump wants “all remaining Bitcoin mined in the U.S.,” framing it as an energy dominance play. But as Bitfarms’ CEO Ben Gagnon notes, this ignores Bitcoin’s foundational ethos: decentralization. Forcing mining into one jurisdiction is like trying to herd cats with a flamethrower—messy and counterproductive.

Key Irony: The man who loves “America First” policies is advocating for a system designed to resist centralized control.

2. Paying $35T Debt with Crypto: A Libertarian Fairy Tale?

Trump’s suggestion that crypto could erase U.S. debt is either genius trolling or economic naivety. While Ric Edelman argues Bitcoin reserves could theoretically reduce debt, the idea of mass BTC adoption as Treasury collateral feels more like a Rick and Morty plotline than fiscal policy.

Reality Check: Even if feasible, Congress would sooner approve a meme coin named “MAGA” than let crypto replace the dollar.

3. Strategic Bitcoin Reserves: Hodling for Uncle Sam

The proposal to create a national BTC reserve (backed by Senator Cynthia Lummis’ bill) is intriguing. But legal hurdles loom—like the SEC’s seized Bitfinex coins, which technically belong to hack victims. Imagine explaining to a judge why the government gets to HODL stolen assets.

4. Firing Gary Gensler: A Bureaucratic Odyssey

Trump vows to axe the SEC chair on Day One, but regulatory heads aren’t Twitter employees—you can’t just yeet them without cause. Unless Gensler starts trading memecoins on company time, this might take longer than a Bitcoin block confirmation.

5. Killing CBDCs: Privacy Champion or Technophobe?

His anti-CBDC stance aligns with GOP hardliners like Ron DeSantis. Ironically, opposing programmable money while embracing decentralized crypto is like banning forks but endorsing spoons.

6. Freeing Ross Ulbricht: The Dark Web Wildcard

Commuting Silk Road’s founder’s sentence would thrill libertarians but infringe zero law-and-order credibility. A classic Trumpian paradox.

7. Crypto Advisory Committee: Regulatory Clarity or Kabuki Theater?

The promise of a 100-day regulatory framework sounds bullish… until you remember this is the same administration that took four years to define “infrastructure.”

8. Self-Custody Rights: Not Your Keys, Not Your… Legislation?

The Keep Your Coins Act could be revolutionary—if it survives lobbying from banks allergic to financial sovereignty.

Conclusion: Promises vs. Protocol

While Trump’s pro-Bitcoin rhetoric energizes crypto voters, his track record suggests these pledges may dissolve faster than a shitcoin in a bear market. Whether he wins or not, one truth remains: Blockchain doesn’t care about presidents—it just keeps ticking along, immutable and indifferent.